


You Weren't Supposed To Be Home

by Chrystie, kate882



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Nightwing (Comics), Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics), Under the Red Hood
Genre: M/M, but he's not Nightwing here, civilian!dick, so he's a civilian in that sense, so not totally a civilian, well he's a cop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-03
Updated: 2018-12-03
Packaged: 2019-09-06 07:42:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16828171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chrystie/pseuds/Chrystie, https://archiveofourown.org/users/kate882/pseuds/kate882
Summary: Dick had been anticipating getting home and curling on his couch to accomplish exactly zero responsibilities. It was pretty rare for him to get off work early, but when he did he embraced it by doing absolutely nothing but gluing himself to his couch in front of his TV or laptop wearing nothing but boxers.Which would have been exactly what he did had he not opened the door to find possibly the most dangerous vigilante in Gotham crouched in front of his window, staring out of it with binoculars. “Uh…”And maybe he shouldn’t have said anything, because before he could so much as blink, his own gun was pulled away from his uniform and aimed at his face. “You weren’t supposed to be home yet,” the Red Hood muttered, and Dick honestly wasn’t sure if he was talking to him or to himself.





	You Weren't Supposed To Be Home

**Author's Note:**

> Two fics in two days? Can you guys tell I don't want to study for my health psych final today. It's in five hours I'm dying; this is my study break. -Kate

Dick had been anticipating getting home and curling on his couch to accomplish exactly zero responsibilities. It was pretty rare for him to get off work early, but when he did he embraced it by doing absolutely nothing but gluing himself to his couch in front of his TV or laptop wearing nothing but boxers.

Which would have been exactly what he did had he not opened the door to find possibly the most dangerous vigilante in Gotham crouched in front of his window, staring out of it with binoculars. “Uh…”

And maybe he shouldn’t have said anything, because before he could so much as blink, his own gun was pulled away from his uniform and aimed at his face. “You weren’t supposed to be home yet,” the Red Hood muttered, and Dick honestly wasn’t sure if he was talking to him or to himself.

“I-I don’t think that means I should get shot.” Dick was frozen to his spot, which was a really difficult position to put himself in considering he wanted nothing more than to get as far from the gun as possible.

Red Hood didn’t say anything for a few seconds, and with the helmet on Dick couldn’t get any kind of read on what he was thinking. “Close the door, hand over your phone, and if you scream I will shoot you and whoever comes to help you.”

Dick looked between the gun and Red Hood skeptically before slowly backing up, eyes never leaving the man, and closed the door with a gentle click. Dick really didn’t want to part with his phone. That was his only way to contact literally anyone he needed for backup. But he also wasn’t stupid. He knew there was a reason vigilantes thrived in Gotham, which was that the GCPD simply couldn’t keep up with them or the crazier criminals. Anyone he called wouldn’t even make it past the front door.

Slowly he lowered his phone to the floor and kicked it over to Red Hood. “Could you at least tell me why you’re in my apartment?”

“No.” Red Hood pocketed his phone and headed back to the window with his binoculars.

And that was how they stayed for all of ten minutes, with Dick almost pressed to his front door while Red Hood crouched by his window. That was until Dick got antsy. He tested his limits by very slowly inching himself towards his bedroom with hopes that Red Hood would be too distracted to notice, but without even looking back at him he had a gun aimed at him again. “Do not make me shoot you, Officer. I don’t want to have the police more on my ass than they already are.”

And maybe it was a bad idea to mouth off at the scary vigilante with a gun pointed at him, but he’d been anticipating a relaxing day at home and this was anything but, which irritated him to hell. “Well maybe you shouldn’t have snuck into one of their apartments. You’re the worst uninvited guest I’ve ever had.”

Red Hood turned to face him, gun still aimed at him. “Well maybe if you were competent enough at your job to catch the criminals operating right across the street from you I wouldn’t have to break into your apartment. Which was ridiculously easy to get into, by the way, are you not an officer of the law who has seen break ins before?”

“I work for the GCPD, I can’t afford something better,” Dick huffed indignantly. “And that doesn’t mean you should break into someone’s apartment and keep them as, I don’t know, hostage?”

“You’re not a hostage, dumbass. You weren’t even supposed to be here. Who’s ever heard of a GCPD Officer getting off of work early? As soon as I leave you’re free to do whatever you want, but I don’t need the GCPD ruining this bust for me.” Red Hood turned back around to face the window.

Once the gun was off him again, Dick, with no hesitation or even an attempt of stealth this time, marched right up to Red Hood and peered over his shoulder out the window. “What fucking criminals?” Because while Dick wasn’t an idiot, he also didn’t take too kindly to his work being insulted, and when people thought they could get away with something right under his nose.

“You are some special kind of stupid, you know that? Why can’t you just sit down and shut up like most people do when someone threatens them with a gun?” Red Hood asked him, but still passed him the binoculars so he could see, and pointed to the apartment across the street.

What Dick saw boiled his blood. Just from the limited view of the window he could see one man with a very big gun and at least three kids, tied up and terrified. “Son of a bitch.”

“Yeah, no shit.” Red Hood snatched his benoculures back. “So sit down and shut up so I can do your job.”

Dick completely ignored him. “How are we getting them out?”

“We?” Red Hood asked him incredulously. “We aren’t doing anything. I’m handling it.”

“We,” Dick repeated, “Unless you want me just following you in without knowing the plan and potentially fucking you over.”

“Do I need to handcuff you to something? Stay out of it. GCPD doesn’t work with me, and I like it better that way.”

“I’m off duty. Now it’s just the guy whose apartment you broke into demanding to help.”

“That sounds worse,” Red Hood told him flatly.

“Well you can’t just point out a crime this messed up to me and not expect me to butt in.” He was a police officer, what did Red Hood expect?

“Have you met half of your police force? It was a reasonable expectation.”

“Well then you chose the wrong cop’s apartment. So what’s the plan.”

“You had better not fuck this up,” Red Hood muttered. “We’re waiting for the guy buying the kids to show so that we can get him too. You get the kids out while I deal with the traffickers and buyers.”

And while Dick usually liked being part of the action too, he was pretty sure Red Hood was probably a little more skilled than he was, all things considered. “Sounds like a plan.”

Red Hood turned to face him again. “Think you can get them out through that window? It's not the worst fire escape I've ever seen, but you'll probably have to pick the lock.”

“If the locks are anything like the ones here then it should be fine.” There was a reason he never worried too hard if he forgot his house key.

Red nodded and resumed watching. It was roughly another fifteen minutes before he stood up abruptly. “Now.” And that was all he gave Dick before tossing his gun to him and bailing out of Dick’s window.

Dick really shouldn’t have been surprised, but it still would’ve been nice to have more of a warning if a gun was going to be tossed at him. He swiftly climbed out of the window after him and as Red Hood went in from the front door of the building to get to the apartment, Dick climbed up the fire escape, waiting to hear gun shots before making quick work of the lock and getting the kids out of there. There were five in total, and Dick had never been more disappointed in himself for not noticing this was happening before.

He could hear Red Hood shouting, probably demanding information, and then more gunfire and then everything got very quiet as he led the kids down the fire escape.

Red was waiting for them at the bottom. He crouched down so he was at eye level with the kids, before asking them if they were all okay.

He nodded when he got affirmative answers from all of them. “Alright, officer Grayson here is going to get you to the police station, and they're going to get you home. Those men aren't going to touch you ever again.”

While most of the kids stayed by Dick’s side, two of them even clinging to his fingers, one of the girls stepped closer to Red Hood and hugged him with a very quiet and sniffly, “Thank you.” Even for the supposed cruelest vigilante in Gotham, that was pretty cute, Dick had to admit. And he was a little surprised to see him hug her back.

“No need to thank me. And if anyone tries to come after you again, tell them you're under the Red Hood’s protection.” He waited until she was ready to let go before getting to his feet.

“Okay, come on guys, let’s get to the station. It’s not too far from here.” He typically walked to work, given how close it was, but with five kids coming with him, he didn’t think that was the best option. They could all squish in his car illegally, but that felt like the wrong idea for an officer. Never had Dick thought he’d want a minivan. Looking at the group, he picked up the two youngest and told the rest to walk right next to him and not to fall behind him. “And Hood,” he said before leaving, “Stay out of my apartment.”

“Yeah yeah, I don't need it anymore,” He waved Dick off.

* * *

It took a few months, but Red Hood did end up back at his apartment, this time he knocked though. And he looked terrible. His clothes were torn, and he was bleeding bad enough that it was staining the carpet in the hallway. He was missing his helmet too, only a mask on this time, and sporting a bruised cheekbone and busted lip. “Evening Officer,” he greeted with a grin that looked painful.

Dick, who had not been expecting company and hadn’t had the time to put clothes on before answering the door, dropped the blanket he’d wrapped around his mostly naked self. “Oh my god, what happened to you?” Dick was already pulling Red Hood in towards his couch, which was a sign of how bad it was because he was met with no resistance.

“It hasn't been a great night. How would you rate your first aid skills?” Red answered, letting Dick sit him down on his couch.

“Decently good,” he called out, already running towards the bathroom to grab the kit. He came back, setting the kit down on the coffee table and tried to help Red Hood get his shirt off. “How do you even put this on? What is it made of?”

“Kevlar, mostly. I've got a stab wound on my back that I'm not going to be able to reach, so I need you to fix it.” He pulled the shirt and jacket off, which allowed Dick to see a lot of bruising and blood, but almost more concerning than that was what looked a lot like an autopsy scar. He had to push that aside for the moment though, because Red turned and he could see the aforementioned stab wound that was still bleeding.

Dick dutifully started to work on the wound, trying to be as gentle as possible with the peroxide. “Are there any other holes in you I should be worried about?”

“Nothing I can't handle.”

“If you start bleeding through your bandages because of something else I don’t get to it’ll be on you.”

“I'll be fine. I can get to any other injuries.”

“You’ll be resting is what you’ll be doing,” Dick said as he wrapped him up, “Now where else are you hurt?”

“I'm good. Thanks for the help, but I think it's time for me to go,” Red told him, moving to get up.

“The hell it is,” Dick pushed him down by the shoulder, careful not to disturb his injuries, “You’re going to rest and you’re not going to move until I’m sure you’re not going to die at my door.” Dick quickly got up, keeping an eye on Red Hood and grabbed the blanket he’d dropped earlier to drape over him.

“I'm not dying. Besides, weren't you the one that told me to stay out of your apartment?”

“It’s different when you’re _dying_ ,” Dick emphasized. Sure, he knew now that Red Hood wasn’t going to die, but he wasn’t taking any chances. Red Hood could also very easily get ambushed on his way out, fall off a building, fall off his bike, the possibilities were endless. “Now stay put while I put on some pants.” He could ignore the fact that he was only in boxers earlier because there had been bleeding out on his floor, now that that crisis was averted it was getting increasingly awkward wearing almost nothing while talking to Red.

He came back to his living room, to find Red working on opening his window. “I, um, thought you would take longer to change.”

“It doesn’t take that long to throw on a pair of sweats and a tank.” Dick grabbed Red by the shoulders and dragged him back over to the couch, again, with alarming ease. “Stop trying to kill yourself and get some sleep.”

He couldn't see Red’s eyes with the mask on, but the raised eyebrows paired with the frown definitely let him know what Red thought of that idea. “I'm not sleeping here.”

“Well you’re definitely not leaving here.” Dick sat down next to Red on the couch, ready to keep him there.

“Listen, I only came here because I couldn't get to the stab wound, no one I trust is in the area right now, and you were close by and didn't fuck me over last time. The stab wound is handled now though, so I'm going back to one of my own safe houses, and I'll get you a new couch since I got blood on this one.”

“Oh if the blood on the couch bugs you you can take the bed instead,” Dick said, reaching for the remote for the TV and ignoring most of what Red had to say.

“Shouldn't you be trying to arrest me or something? Not forcing me to stay on your couch.”

“Why? I don’t have a problem with vigilantes. You guys help, although you in particular are a little more violent than I’d like.”

The lenses of Red’s mask narrowed at him. “I held you at gunpoint last time we met.”

“And then you let me help you rescued a few kids,” Dick shrugged.

“Let is a strong word for that situation.”

“Eh, you still trusted me enough to give me a roll. So trust me now and go to sleep.”

“That wasn't so much trust as I didn't trust you to stay put and not mess things up if I didn't let you in on it,” Red informed him.

“Fine, then consider this: I’ll follow you home to make sure you don’t pass out on the way there.”

“Counterpoint: you couldn't keep up.”

“You have a hole in your back.”

“And in my leg, I'm not planning to outrun you. I have a grappling hook.”

Instead of furthering the argument, Dick looked over at Red Hood with a look of wonder even as he knelt down to gently prod Red’s legs. “Swinging through the city? Is it fun?”

“Ow, what the fuck are you doing?” Red jerked his leg back when Dick found the spot he was talking about. He couldn't really see the blood stain with the black pants, but he could see the red on his fingers now.

Dick was glad he hadn’t put away the first aid kit. He rolled Red’s pant leg up and started to patch that up. “Is it fun?” He asked again, “what does the city look like from the sky?”

Red looked at him skeptically for a second. “Cut you a deal. You let me leave without kicking up a fuss about it, and I'll show you when I'm in better shape.”

And that had Dick conflicted because Red still didn’t look like he was in very good condition to leave and Dick didn’t want to be responsible for letting him die, but he missed flying so much. He missed the feel of the wind rushing past his face and the weightless feel of being in the air from his time in the circus. “What if something happens on your way home?”

“You got a change of clothes? I know it's Gotham, so a civilian is just as likely to be attacked, but I can handle an average mugger.”

Dick didn’t think most of his clothes would fit Red, but he luckily had one oversized sweater for when he wanted to be comfy and he was sure sweatpants could stretch. “Don't try and run away this time,” Dick said as he got up to grab the clothes.

“I'm about to leave anyway, what's the point,” and Dick could just hear the eye roll.

Dick found the clothes easily and tossed them to Red. “Don’t be too shy to ask for help.”

“Don't need it,” he answered as he started to change. “You couldn't even get the shirt off earlier, if I recall.”

“That thing hugged you like a second skin and it was armor. I didn’t know how flexible it was. I’m pretty capable to pulling a shirt over you and some pants.”

“I'm good.” And it took a minute or so and there were a few pained sounds, but he did get the clothes on himself.

Dick helped him up and led him to his door. “Don’t die on me.”

“It's not as fun as it sounds, trust me, so I'm not planning on it,” he grinned at Dick. “Besides, I apparently owe you a ride through the city.”

Dick thought back to the scar that looked too much like an autopsy one and pushed the thought away because that made no sense. “If you don’t show up here once you should be healed and better I’ll hunt you down.”

“Good luck with that.” And then he was gone, flipping up the hood to Dick’s sweater before reaching up to presumably remove his mask while Dick couldn't see his face. 

* * *

By the time Dick woke up the next morning there was a new couch in his living room (and he wasn't sure how it had gotten there, but it was much nicer than the one he'd had before), new carpet in the outside hallway that had been stained with Red Hood’s blood, and a hoodie and sweats that weren't the same ones he'd given Red sitting on his kitchen counter.

* * *

Red Hood greeted him by holding out a mask when Dick opened his door for him a week later. Which was definitely too early for how deep that stab wound had been. “Ready to go?”

“I don’t know, are you?” Dick reached around to poke Red’s back.

He batted Dick’s hand away, but he was wearing the helmet again, so Dick couldn't see his expression. “Right as rain, Dickiebird. We going or what?”

Dick looked up at Red skeptically but nodded, pasting the mask onto his face.

Gliding through the Gotham night sky was everything Dick had missed. Sure it was a little different when clinging to a very muscled vigilante but the thrill was still the same. The wind still rushed past him, the adrenaline still pumped through him and the city actually looked nice from a higher vantage point.

“Oh my god that was amazing,” Dick said as they landed, still hugging Red, “I’ve missed that so much. Thank you.”

“No need for thanks. I told you I would do it,” Red reminded him.

“I think I should still thank you. I never thought I’d get the chance to fly again.”

“Right, Flying Grayson. I read about that when I was staking out your place for that bust. How's it compare?”

“Grappling could use a little more flare, maybe add in a flip somewhere, but it was still amazing. A little more thrilling too since buildings are uneven.”

“I'm not gonna start doing flips any time soon. I'm just trying to get from point A to point B,” Red told him. “But we should probably be getting you home now. I've got a patrol to do tonight.”

And that was when they heard a thump come from the side of them. Dick slowly turned to see what it was, a small feeling of dread welling up in his stomach, and there was the Batman imposingly staring at them. Dick let go of Red to stand just slightly behind him instead because while Red was still the cruelest vigilante in Gotham, he still didn’t compare to _Batman_ on some other levels _,_ and Red was also moving to further block Dick from Batman.

“Did you need something, Bats?” Red asked, and his tone did not imply friendly feelings.

“An explanation,” was all Batman said in a rough gravelly voice.

“Fresh out of those, so you might as well get back to your cave.” Red made a shooing motion.

“Why are you taking a civilian on a joyride through the city.” Batman bit out. Dick was so thankful for the mask he’d been made to put on at the moment.

Red planted himself more firmly between Batman and Dick. “Sounds like a lot of not your business.”

“You should know that this puts this civilian in danger. What if you ran into trouble on this little escapade through the city.”

“Then I would handle it,” Red gritted out. “At least my tag along of the night isn't a ten year old.” He turned his head to look pointedly at some shadows, and Dick recognized the Robin outfit when Robin stepped forward.

“I'm trained, Hood,” Robin reminded him. Dick couldn’t help thinking that even though Robin could probably kick his butt, he looked adorable.

“Robin’s right. You know involving civilians is the last thing we should be risking.”

“Uh, not to draw your wrath or anything, but I can handle myself pretty well,” Dick cut in. He may not be as skilled in combat as everyone else here, but he was still an officer of the law, and still had some decent training.

“Now’s not the time,” Red told him quietly, before addressing Batman again. “I'm about to take him home anyway, so if you would be so kind as to fuck off.”

“This better not happen again,” Batman warned, and Dick really wanted to argue that they were fine, but held back because Batman was Batman. With a swish of his cape Batman turned to leave, Robin on his heels, and Red flipping them off as they went.

Dick wasn’t sure how they blended so seamlessly into the night, but they did. Dick stepped out from behind Red and wrapped his arms around him again. “I guess you better take me home.”

“Oh, definitely not. They're totally following us. Unless you want Batman to know where you live that is.”

“Um, no thanks. I think just you is enough,” the thought of any other vigilante showing up at his door or window other than Red really unnerved him. “So what do we do now?”

“We go to one of my safe houses instead.” He said before firing a line and swinging off the ledge.

“You’re actually willing to let me know where you live?” Dick shouted over the rush of wind.

“Hell no. I'm moving after this. It's just a place to keep you that Batman can't get into.”

“I swear, there’s no trust in this relationship at all,” Dick joked. Even if Batman was following them, Dick felt comforted being in the air and having Red by his side.

“We've met three times,” Red pointed out to him.

“And weren’t all three times magical? Nothing more romantic than getting bled on or having my own gun pointed at me.”

“Oh yeah, totally,” Red answered sarcastically.

“I’m glad you agree with me,” Dick laughed. They landed at what looked to be an abandoned warehouse and Dick was almost sure Red had taken a wrong turn or something. “Tell me you don’t live here.”

“It's a safe house,” Red answered, going through several security procedures before the door opened and leading Dick inside.

Dick was thankful to note that it looked a lot better inside than it did from the outside. It was still sparsely decorated and seemed to only have the bare essentials, but it still looked liveable. “So how long do you think he’ll keep watch on us?”

“Personally? Not that long. The trick is finding all the surveillance shit he's going to leave around here and disabling them before taking you home. So looks like you're staying the night,” Red told him. “You can take Arsenal's bed. He's not in town right now,” he added, gesturing towards one of the few rooms in the place.

Dick sighed. It was a good thing he didn’t have an early shift tomorrow. “Should I keep this on?” He pointed to the mask over his eyes.

“Nah, you should be good in here. That was mostly so that no one would see Red Hood hanging with a cop.”

“What?” Dick peeled off the mask, “am I a threat to your reputation?” He teased lightly.

“I mean yeah, but I'm also a threat to your life. I deal with criminals that wouldn't hesitate to kill you if they thought they could use it against me.” He sounded more serious now. “That's what Batman was talking about when he said I was putting you in danger.”

“Well I’m still glad you took me out tonight. I haven’t had that much fun in a while even if we had a Bat shaped interruption.”

“Hopefully he won't continue to be a problem. But even if he does find you, he's not going to hurt you. Probably. No real point. And he doesn't kill. You'd probably just have a Bat shaped stalker for a while.”

“That doesn’t give me much comfort, but I’ll take it. If we’re staying here for the rest of the night, you know you can take this off right?” Dick knocked lightly against the helmet.

“I've still got patrol tonight. Think you can handle not breaking anything here while I'm gone?”

“No promises,” Dick grinned.

“Uh huh. I'll be back in a few hours. I will know if you've been snooping,” he warned and then left.

“Well darn, there goes my plans of trying to find out every detail about the guy who owns more guns than I have things in my fridge,” Dick called after him.

* * *

Red came back somehow looking tired despite still having his helmet on. “Long night?” Dick asked from his spot on the couch.

“Robin was on my ass most of the night, and the criminals were their usual selves.”

“Was he interrogating you about yours truly?” Dick asked with a huge grin and a bat of his eyelashes.

“Yeah, pretty much. Kid’s a brat,” he muttered, pulling off the helmet.

“What’d he say?” Dick needed to take a moment to remind himself how handsome Red was under the helmet. Of course he couldn’t see his entire face with the mask on, but it was still really nice with the sharp jawline and the messy hair with a pretty white streak over his forehead. And it all looked so much better not covered in blood like last time.

“Wanted to know what I was doing with you. If you had dirt on me or something, knew who any of us were. If I'd told Red Robin about you before him. That kinda shit.” He shrugged.

“Ah so he’s a jealous kid too,” Dick laughed.

“Don’t say that to him. He might try to break your jaw for it.”

“What are the chances he’ll meet me again? Unless there’ll be more joy rides in the future.” Dick looked at him hopefully.

“Did you want to explain to Batman when he catches us doing that again?” Red asked him, arching an eyebrow. “Also, if Batman finds where you live, the chances of you meeting Robin again are high. And he’s a little more violent, so we’re going to try to avoid that.”

Dick expression fell at that. “Yeah, you’re right. I guess one night was still great. Thanks.”

Red patted his shoulder. “I’m looking out for you here buddy. That kid walks around with swords, and you don’t want to have to tell people you got your ass handed to you by a ten year old.”

“I know and I appreciate it. I don’t doubt that kid is tougher than most. Besides I’ve gotten used to being grounded. It came with leaving the circus biz,” Dick shrugged. It was still disappointing, but he knew grappling through the city wasn’t going to a very frequent event.

“Maybe some other time when I know for sure that the Bat isn’t hanging around. I really should have looked into that before taking you out tonight.”

“It’s fine. I appreciate that you even took me out at all.”

Red smiled at him. “Get some sleep, Dickiebird, I’ve gotta try and find a way to get you home tomorrow, and I don’t want that to include dragging your ass out of bed.”

“Then I hope you have coffee. You should get some sleep too, you’ve had a busy night.”

“I’ll consider it.”

* * *

It had been a few weeks since Dick had seen Red, and he was actually starting to miss him a little. He wasn’t so bad when you weren’t on his bad side. The last place he expected to run into him though was at a Starbucks and without a mask and Dick knew it was him because as much as he tried, he wasn’t going to hide a white streak and that really nice jawline that easily. Maybe that was why he wore the helmet. And that was when he heard the barista shout out “Jason,” and Red went up to pick up the drink. Whoops. Hopefully Red wouldn’t feel the need to kill him now that he knew both his face and name.

He turned with his drink to head to the exit, but his eyes immediately landed on Dick and went wide with surprise. And before he knew it, Dick was being dragged out of the shop.

Dick went with very little struggle but still felt the need to complain. “But Re- Jason, I wanted coffee!”

“Uh huh, and you just almost called me Red Hood around people,” Jason said quietly.

“A slip up, will never happen again, I promise.”

Jason pulled him into an alleyway and glared hard enough at the man smoking a joint in it that he ran off before turning his glare on Dick. “We can’t do slipups like that in my line of work.”

And with his eyes focused on him like that, Dick could see that Jason’s eyes were a very pretty blue-green. “Well I didn’t exactly expect to see you and as of two minutes ago, Red was all I knew you as.”

“Then you don’t call me anything out loud if you’re going to do that.” He pinched the bridge of his nose, looking frustrated. “Fuck, and now you’ve got a face and a name,” he muttered, and it sounded more like he was talking to himself than Dick.

“It’s a very nice face?” He said unsurely, like that meant anything when he was finding out something as serious as Red Hood’s identity.

Jason just stared at him for a few seconds, like he needed to process that. “Is that what’s important here?”

And then he went pale. “Wait, shit, fuck-” he muttered as a voice approached. 

“Todd, where are you? I saw you leaving,” and then a child rounded the corner and glared between the two of them. “Who is that?” And Dick knew what Damian Wayne looked like, because he lived in Gotham, and Jason just looked like he wanted a hole to open up under him.

“No one. Just get Tim’s coffee for me, would you?” Jason answered, but Damian was still glaring at Dick instead of leaving.

“Have we met before?”

“I don’t think so, I think I would remember if I met you.” A lie because Dick had a feeling he knew where he’d met him before.

Damian’s glare only intensified and then turned accusatory. “You-” he turned to Jason. “You told him?!”

“No, no I did not do that, and there’s no need for you to tell anyone either,” Jason answered.

“No one told me anything!” Dick did not want to be in the middle of this.

“Are you blackmailing Todd then?” The kid didn’t even meet his shoulders and he still managed to be intimidating. “He didn’t tell you, but you found out and are using it against him?”

“Why would I do that? I actually like his company sometimes.” He wasn’t even sure what he would blackmail Jason for, but it was kind of cute how much the kid cared, even if it was somehow ridiculously scary.

This didn’t seem to help and Jason had to lift the kid up to hold him back. “Damian, I swear to God if you don’t chill out I am telling Tim that you cried when he moved out.”

“I did not!” Damian turned his glare on Jason, struggling to get back on the ground.

“But who will Tim believe?” Jason countered, grinning as Damian seemed to pause at that.

Dick tried to slowly back away from the two which didn’t work out too well when they both set their eyes on him. “Come on guys, I didn’t mean to find out, hadn’t even considered it. I just wanted coffee.”

“Damian, get him a coffee too while you’re getting Tim’s,” Jason said, setting Damian back on the ground.

“I’m not getting either of them coffee,” Damian argued.

“C’mon man, not all of us live with billionaires.”

“You are not poor anymore, no matter how you dress, Todd, that will not work on me.”

Jason looked down at his outfit and then to Dick. “I don’t think he knows how much leather jackets cost.”

“Clearly not. It’s okay, I think leather’s more your look than his.”

“Look, Damian, if you handle the coffee I’ll spar with you for as long as you want today,” Jason offered. Damian scowled, but nodded and walked off. “God, I’m going to die,” Jason muttered.

Dick grimaced slightly, “Thanks.”

“Look, I don’t want to shoot you, but I am telling you now, you’d better keep all of this identity shit to yourself. And Bruce is probably going to make you sign a nondisclosure agreement, for whatever that’s worth.”

“Why would I tell anyone? I hadn’t even planned on finding out. I like not getting shot or cut in half by swords.”

“Yeah, I get that you didn’t mean to. That’s why I’m less inclined to threaten you. But there’s a shit ton of reasons for you to tell someone now that you know, which is why I’m still telling you that it’d be a bad idea.”

“Despite how we first met, I’m not actually an idiot.”

“You just tried to sneak out of an alleyway entrance that was blocked by Red Hood and Robin,” Jason said flatly.

“You guys were distracted, I thought I had a chance.”

“That’s almost insulting.”

“Can’t blame me for wanting to exit a situation when two vigilantes are arguing over whether or not to gut me,” Dick huffed.

“He wouldn’t gut you.” Jason waved him off. “He doesn’t kill people anymore.”

“I guess that’s something considering you still do and you seem to like me more.” Although Dick had a lot of questions about why a ten year old used to kill at all.

“You’d definitely be having a different experience in this alley if I didn’t.”

“And thank God for that.”

“You probably want to get going though. He’s worse when he’s had time to simmer. Just get some coffee somewhere else. Take mine, I’ll have the one he brings you. He’s a little more likely to tell me if he put something in it.” Jason passed Dick his untouched coffee.

Dick grimaced. Being drugged by a ten year old was never a thing he’d thought he’d ever have to worry about. “Alright. You better not disappear like the safehouse you took me to.” The one that Dick knew to have gone up in flames the day after his stay.

“I told you I was moving after taking you there.”

“I didn’t think that meant blow it up.”

“I didn’t blow it up. I set it on fire.”

“That doesn’t mean your reaction doesn’t feel a little like it was too much.” Dick took the coffee with a small smile. “Still though, thanks.”

“Yeah yeah, thank me later, get going before the brat comes back.”

“Okay okay. I’ll see you around?”

“Yes, now go.” He even gave Dick a small shove.

“Okay I’m going.” Dick supposed he could just get to work early.

* * *

Dick was sitting at home on his one day off doing what he loved best. Vegging out in front to the TV wearing nothing but underwear and a blanket with junk food surrounding him. That was when a helmetless and maskless Jason made his entrance through Dick’s front door. “I thought we established knocking.”

“You didn’t lock your door, that’s on you,” Jason answered, shoving his legs off the couch so he could sit down next to him.

“Like a lock means anything to you,” Dick huffed, reworking himself into a ball with the blanket draped over his shoulders and wrapped around him. “What’s the visit for today? You don’t look like you’re dying or working on anything,” a wide grin split over Dick’s face, “could It be that you just like me?”

“Don’t push it. I didn’t have anything better to do.”

“Aw, don’t worry Jay, I like you too. I’ll even let you share my blanket ball.” Dick opened up his ball with a lift of his arm then looked down at himself. “I can put on clothes too.”

“Probably a good plan if you want to share a blanket.”

With a sigh, Dick got up and dropped his blanket over Jason’s shoulders before heading to his room. He came back out in a tank top and shorts and re-established his spot on the couch by plopping down next to Jason and lifting the blanket enough to cover his shoulders too. “There, perfect.”

“There is so much junk food here,” Jason informed him, looking around.

“Of course, snacking is the best meal of the day.” Dick pointedly took a cookie and chomped on it.

“This is some kind of joke. I just saw your abs.”

“I still work out. I practice my flips a lot too, hard to not stay fit when you do those everyday.” Even if Dick didn’t have access to the trapeze anymore, he still liked to keep something from his circus days and he just couldn’t bear to forget how to spring through the air.

“Clearly,” Jason was still looking at all the food skeptically. “Your ice cream is melting.”

Dick gave a small ‘eep’ and shoved the rest of his cookie into his mouth so he could grab the ice cream. “Help me finish it.” Dick held up a full spoon in front of Jason’s face.

“Or you could put it back in the fre-” Jason was cut off by a spoon being shoved in his mouth and he glared at Dick. Dick just grinned at him.

“But it’s almost done.”

Jason pulled the spoon out of his mouth. “It’s absolutely not almost done.”

“Sure it is. Between the two of us it’ll be done in no time.” Dick took the spoon from him to feed himself a big scoop.

Jason rolled his eyes and got up, coming back from Dick’s kitchen with his own spoon. “Only because it’s neapolitan,” he muttered. 

And while Dick would have preferred to keep feeding Jason, purely because he didn’t like doing dishes of course, he considered it a win that Jason had agreed at all. “Want to watch Friends with me?” Dick had gotten a few episodes in before Jason came in.

“Sure, why not,” he shrugged, taking another spoonful of ice cream.

Dick scooted a little closer to Jason until their arms touched, wrapped the blanket a little more securely around them and pressed play on his remote. It was nice, different from anything they’d ever done with each other, but still nice being able to just hang out, eat bad food, and laugh at the stupidity on TV.

It wasn’t until about two hours later that Jason’s watch, or actually the closer he looked at it the less it looked like a watch, started beeping and Jason muttered a curse. “Hang on like ten minutes,” he said, getting up, and rummaging around Dick’s apartment for a few minutes, before leaving with a handful of … something. He came back a few minutes later and dropped down on Dick’s couch. “You’ve really got to up your security here.”

“What? What was all that about?” Dick still dutifully wrapped the blanket back around Jason’s shoulders.

“Batman bugged your place. I was jamming them,” he gestured at the watch like thing, “but he worked around it, so I just got rid of them. Which was kind of the plan when I came over, but we ended up watching tv, so I figured I’d just get rid of them on the way out until he worked around my jammer.”

Dick blinked at him. He took a deep breath in and let out a sigh. “All I want to do is hang out with my surprisingly nice vigilante friend, and his crime fighting gang is just out to get me.”

“I mean, he’s just out to make sure you aren’t spilling our identities. And I’d prefer we didn’t lump me into a group with them. I’ve barely started visiting again, and that’s really only because of a few of them, and still not often.” 

“Well how long until he’s convinced I’ll keep my mouth shut. This might surprise him, but I don’t want to be haunted by a Bat for the rest of my life.”

“He still keeps kryptonyte and Superman is about as close to a best friend as he’s ever going to get.”

“Okay, but there’s going to be a point where he stops actively stalking me, right? Give me some hope, Jay.”

“I’d rather not lie to you.”

Dick collapsed against Jason’s side with a sigh. “The price I pay for you.” Dick glanced up at Jason through his eyelashes, “I guess it’s worth it though.”

“You say that, but you haven’t even met all of the Bats yet. Batwoman has told me to inform you that she will kick your ass if you hurt me. And I’m telling you that if you get your ass kicked by her you’ll probably thank her.”

“I’ve seen pictures, I don’t doubt that.” Even covered, Batwoman looked like his type of badass woman. “Why does it sound like everyone thinks we’re dating?”

“Because she knows I’m into you. Which is … weird because she showed up at my safe house already under that impression. And then invited me to get dinner with her and her wife, but I was already planning to come here.”

Dick shot up to gape at him. “You are?!”

Jason raised an eyebrow. “Do I seem like the kind of guy that just takes people he barely knows swinging through the city? Is that the impression I leave, because if so I have some imaging work to do.”

“Well you could’ve told me earlier. I’ve been flirting with you all night. We could be making out right now.”

“There were still batbugs in your place. I was not testing my jammer like that.”

“Well they’re all gone now, right?”

Jason grinned at him. “They are.”

“Then lemme get my lips on you.” Dick climbed into his lap and didn’t waste any time in pressing his lips to Jason’s.

“I’m only excusing how lame that line was because of how hot you are,” Jason mumbled against his mouth before starting to actually kiss him back.

For once Dick didn’t feel the need to correct him that his line was great. His mouth was very happily distracted.

And that went on for a few minutes before a knock came at the window, and there was Red Robin, picking his lock and sliding right in. “Thought I’d interrupt before coming in, because I didn’t want to see any of it.”

“Go home. Why are you here?” Jason complained.

“Bat’s wanted to know what happened to his stuff. Guess now I know.”

Dick, despite refusing to remove himself from Jason’s lap, still made an effort to be nice because he didn’t really want to be on the bad side of another bat. “Hi, I don’t think we’ve met yet. I’m Dick, but you probably already knew that.”

“I did. B says I’m not allowed to tell you my name, even though you apparently already know half the other names.” Red Robin answered. “Nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you too, even if you caught us during a moment. I don’t need more reasons to have Batman stalking me so I think I’m okay not knowing your name.”

Red Robin opened his mouth to answer and then his eyes landed on the tv. “Are you guys watching Friends? Sorry Jason, I’m crashing your date.” He hopped onto the couch. “What Batman doesn’t know won’t hurt him, and Jason trusts you,” he added, pulling off his mask. “Tim Drake, nice to meet you, what episode are we watching?”

“Uh,” Dick blinked a bit at Tim. While he wasn’t all too keen on having his make out session interrupted, it was nice to know Tim had taste. “The one where they get the duck.” Dick supposed he could remove himself from Jason’s lap for a little while. He slipped himself off and rewrapped the blanket around them, offering the last bit to Tim.

“Oh, I love that one. Can we fast forward through all the parts with Ross?” Tim asked as he settled in next to them.

“You're not invited,” Jason reminded him. “But I second that idea."

“We can definitely do that.” Dick tossed Tim the remote and pressed himself against Jason. “You can be in charge of the tv, Tim.”

“You're supposed to kick him out,” Jason informed him as Tim started the show again.

Dick shrugged, kissing Jason’s cheek. “He’s got good taste. Besides, you’re staying over, right?”

“If you want me to,” Jason shrugged.

“Yes,” Dick grinned.

It turned out that Tim was actually great. He and Dick got along pretty well when Dick wasn’t trying to sneak in a few makeouts with Jason when he thought Tim wouldn’t notice. Tim noticed every time. When it eventually got late enough that Tim had to leave, with a quick reminder to ‘use protection,’ Dick all but jumped Jason.


End file.
